The one-trick ponies are at it again. Just like they made Louis Tomlinson "hang out" with James Arthur during Just Hold On promo, they've trotted out this unlikely pair on Day 2 of Back To You promo. James famously called Louis a "little bitch" in the past and trashed One Direction. Now that they're trying to get James some cred in the U.S., they're trying the Steve Aoki method - stick someone in proximity of Louis and hope the shine rubs off on them. The difference is that Steve is a wonderful, talented person that's been nothing but nice to Louis. James is just a horrible human who is trying to make amends after setting his own career on fire by being an ass.
And because Louis' team seems to have nothing better to do than fuck up all day, here's a to-do list that they could work on if they could drag themselves out of the hot tub long enough:
Does Louis have a snapchat? One that’s not some other random dude that you sent out in a newsletter? If not, go make him one.
Have you given more thought to posting little snippets of Louis? No, not stunting. Just louis being louis. Go look at Steve Aoki and take notes.
Have you thought about trying to get some consistency in his branding? Maybe you should hold a meeting to discuss. Yeah, Louis is popular enough that we all know louist91 and louis_tomlinson, etc. but it would be easier and look a bit more professional if he was just louistomlinson across the board. Yes, you’ll probably have to shell out some money to buy out the names you want, but consider it an investment in your fucking client’s career. It’s a bit late for that domain name, but should you ever acquire a non-hyphenated name (because honestly, that’s so…just not done), you can easily redirect the hyphen one to the non-hyphenated one.
Do you have more James Arthur promo planned? Cancel it. This isn’t James’ time and no one likes him.
Got more Freddie and Eleanor shit planned? Cancel that, too. If you give two fucks about your client, let his music be the star FOR ONCE HIS GODDAMN LIFE. Prove to us that you actually care about him AS YOUR CLIENT, and let his music do the talking. Not rando pics of eleanor and a child that we all know isn’t his.
Whatever you’re doing that’s keeping Briana at bay…keep it up. And if you’re not doing anything and she’s just sick of this shit and has checked out of babygate….bitch me too.
Do you need us to wipe your ass for you, too?